Just to bring you back to land Rob. I recently asked you through PM to help me find 'Undressing' because I'd lost your PM concerning Beatrice Garland's poem, and had forgotten her name too, and I wanted to print out a copy of this lovely piece. I finally Googled and found a copy of the poem (all by myself - aaaahhhh!)
Oh dear! Did I forget that - I could have sworn I sent the link. Hopefully you'll have found her site now.
You subconsciously remembered all this, felt guilty, and re-read it without knowing why. Mystery over.
I'm sure you're right!
Liked 'The Sea' by the way. I did 'Memories are made of this' or something like that way back, but it's probably full of 'I's too
"Memories" is one of your best poems, and actually you only used the two or three "I's" and none of them were of the undesirable abstract "I felt" calibre. The first "I" was exactly as I used it above. i.e. to introduce the poem and the speaker - I wrote "I tried", you wrote "I remember". Then you said later "I still see you standing there". That's fine - you were describing a concrete image.
The "I's" we are trying to avoid are the sort of "I" that decribe the speaker's feelings or thoughts in a vague or abstract way - that's very much telling what the speaker feels rather than showing: "I felt sad" - "I felt the world had ended" - "I lost direction" - "I needed love" etc etc.
"Memories" has some beautiful descriptive passages, and a stunning ending - I hope we can write something half as good as that.
I'll be back later to take a look at what you wrote.